Category Archives: Sam

My photos, thoughts, and memories of Sam and his life’s words, stories, artwork, lyrics, poetry, magic, dreams, fears, experiences, and plans.

His name, remembered, spoken, and written…

3 minute read

What can I say about today?

April 30, 2026.

Since every day, almost every hour, I think of my beautiful boy, Sam. His name circles my mind, my heart, from back to front, a subtle loop, a recording, a continuous ticker tape, in the background a whirring, clicking, and beeping biotelemetry.

Sam Kassenoff
3/2/98 – 4/30/2007

Today’s not so different from any other day, really. Only a marker in time; nineteen years.

Time keeps on ticking, moving along. Time has taught me how to… It’s dulled my sorrow into a tolerable ache, which I’ve learned to live with and reshape, somehow, into words.

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near, even when far away

2 minute read

On your birthday today…

It’s Monday, March 2, your birthday. Oh my gosh, you’re twenty-eight today. I’m sitting here, early morning, outside in the dark, remembering you, my beautiful boy.

You’ll always be my beautiful boy. Though I know you’re older now, larger than life. 

Far away. 

Continue reading “near, even when far away”

here, still

1 minute read

Sam,

I’m still here.

I’m still counting moons: 223 since you’ve been gone. Eighteen years—two of your lifetimes! How can this be?  

Too much time has passed, I know, for me to hope you might still one morning come padding out of your bedroom, smiling at me as if nothing happened. 

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Year 17

2 minute read

Why is it that I no longer feel flattened by these days?

YESTERDAY, MONDAY, WAS THE DAY of Sam’s death 17 years ago. Today is the date: 4/30. And I don’t really feel any different than usual. Maybe a little heavier, but otherwise normal. Well, normal is as normal does, right? So far, I’ve followed my normal routine. Up early. Got my coffee and sat outside listening to the birds waking up. Had breakfast, threw in some laundry, went for a walk, and now . . . I’m typing this: Why is it that I no longer feel flattened by these days?

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He’d be 26 today

3 minute read

March 2, 2024. He would be twenty-six today. Or still nine. Or three-hundred and twenty-nine.

Sam and me

What is time anyway?

Einstein said that time is not absolute and in fact depends on the observer.

Continue reading “He’d be 26 today”

stars

“There are stars whose radiance is visible on Earth though they have long been extinct. There are people whose brilliance continues to light the world even though they are no longer among the living. These lights are particularly bright when the night is dark. They light the way for humankind.”

– Hannah Szenes (Senesh)