finding new meaning

Why should I live a happy life if my child is not here to enjoy it?

How do we go on in the aftermath of pain and traumatic loss?

The answer offered by well-known author and Holocaust survivor Viktor Frankl is consistent with positive psychology, definitions of post-traumatic growth and the nature of the human spirit to hope.

He suggests we find new meaning in life, something that he recognizes as difficult when facing the tragic aspects of life — pain, guilt and death.

Frankl suggests that it’s not a search for happiness, but for a reason to be happy despite suffering.

In his wisdom, Frankl clarified that finding a new meaning in life does not mean arriving at a single goal that will direct the rest of your life, or make sense of evil. Rather, finding new meaning in life should be translated to finding a reason to go on, to having a purpose, to feeling valuable in the hour, the day, the week.

There is considerable power found in re-framing suffering into meaningful action. Be it walking for a cure, helping others with similar illness or turning suffering into human achievement.

Often, our ability to find meaning after traumatic events is thwarted by feelings of guilt, shame, or blame. “Why should I live a happy life if my child is not here to enjoy it?”

Guilt, shame and blame are common in the aftermath of trauma because they’re defenses against feeling helpless in the face of life’s unfair and inexplicable events. We would rather blame ourselves than accept that we do not have complete control of these lives we live.

Consider this: staying frozen in grief, defining your life in terms of your loss—of your child, sibling, spouse, or friend—actually impairs your capacity to hold on to the best of them. If the new meaning you give to life is to live well in their name or to reach out to help others in their honor, you carry them with love into your future.