Sam would be twenty-two today. Every morning, I wake up to ‘reality’ and shake my head. But there’s something heavier about milestones, anniversaries, and birthdays — the rudest awakenings — that make it harder to face the day. So when I open my eyes and notice the time, 5:51 a.m., the moment Sam was born, I know he is nudging me to wake up and keep going.

Imagining

“Mommy, are you awake?”

I notice the time glowing on my nightstand, 5:51 a.m.

I am. I’m awake.”

“Come outside. Look at the moon.” 

“I’m coming, Sammy. Wait for me.” 

In the distance, an owl is calling. I hurry outside to sit with him until the sun rises and he flies away again.

“Happy Birthday, my sweet boy.”

Remembering

Categories: Rewriting Life After Loss

Deanna

Rewriting life since the sudden death of my nine-year-old son, Sam (2007).
Trying to LEARN, think, remember, IMAGINE, cope, care, read, EAT, write, live, LAUGH, listen, enjoy, walk, meditate, stretch, watch, stop, BREATHE...and keep going.